and everybody’s got that broken feeling
like their father or their dog just died
– Leonard Cohen, “Everybody knows”
Our old dog
one of the sweetest creatures to ever walk this lovely planet
trusted us.
That’s what our good and wise Vet said,
in the difficult discussion about putting her to sleep.
It was true. And it was true,
as the luxury of time and retrospect confirm,
that it was, if not the Best Thing,
the Better Thing to do.
But the procedure did not go smoothly
despite everyone’s best will and effort,
surrounded as she was by family and
familiar care-givers.
When the serum finally went in,
though, she slumped in my arms immediately.
But she left us with her distinctive
expression of quizzicality:
“What is this?”
No outrage, no accusation of betrayal, no anger -
She didn’t know – hence her question.
She just asked: What is this?
Perhaps: What is this you have done to me?
What is it indeed?
Questions not just for dogs.
September 10, 2009 at 5:48 pm |
Oh, Conni, I am so sorry. Your post brings to mind past experiences we had, first with Sandy and Suzie, later with the cat Shadow. I know that quizzical expression of trust. Maybe it means, what’s next? I like to think so. We had inherited Shadow from a woman in our church who died. Shadow lived with us for 4 years before we had to take her to the vet for that procedure that never does go as smoothly as we would hope. But a few weeks later during a nap I had a dream, and I saw Shadow sedately crossing a green lawn and meeting up with Joan, her former owner. They turned and walked away from me into a sunlit forest. After that, I have never doubted that the spirits of our pets persist and so I’ll believe that for Paws as well. My condolences to you and Charlie.